This is me, not caring

I’ve noticed something worrying. I am spending a ridiculous amount of time worrying about what strangers think of me. My brain is preoccupied with fantasies of people coming up to me and saying nasty things. Commenting on how I’m overweight, or giving me advice on how to get thin. And in these fantasies I either balk and go quiet, dying of shame, or I turn around and let them have it, explaining how I’ve actually already lost 18kgs, thank you very much, and how they shouldn’t assume that they know someone’s story just by looking at them.

 

This is bothering me. Because I don’t look at other people and assume things, so what makes me think that strangers are doing that about me? And even if they are, WHO CARES? Really? I shouldn’t even care what the people who know me think, so why does the opinion of strangers matter?

 

I know the effort I’m putting into this, and so do those who are close to me. And that’s all that should matter. If people want to judge me, that’s their issue. I must stop letting my mind construct stressful situations, and rather plug that energy and resourcefulness into continuing on my journey.

 

Not far to go and I’ll have reached the 20kg mark. That blows my mind.

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