Ups and downs

I feel a bit like I’m on a see-saw. On an almost daily basis I find myself pivoting between thinking that losing weight is “the hardest thing in the world – I just caaaaan’t anymore”, and “psssht it’s easy man – watch me shrink”.

Sometimes I hit them both, several times, in one day. And it really doesn’t make the journey any easier. When doing the eating thing right is easy, it’s fantastic. I feel invincible, I grin at myself in the mirror and I bounce gleefully down the stairs. But when it’s hard, it’s really really hard. As in, all I want to do is give up. Lie in a miserable heap and pour all the bad food down my throat with a funnel, because what’s the point in trying anyway?

The big difference between me now, and me a few years back, however, is that at least now I’ve seen that I can succeed. So I can’t even con myself into believing “it wasn’t going to work anyway”. I know it’s going to work, because it has already – mere months ago. So I can’t even claim shifting planets or anything like that.

I just have to stop with the complaining and get on with it. And honestly, it’s not like someone’s demanding I cut off my own toes – it’s just carbs for heaven’s sake. I still have a fantastic husband, a great family, and almost house and a collection of awesome friends helping to make my life cool. Carbs? Who needs ’em? And even when I have indulged recently it really hasn’t been mindblowing. So ja.

As you can tell, I’m kind of in an “easy” phase right now. Despite the fact that there are two bags full of cake perched on the couch a few metres from my desk. Someone’s birthday. But I’m really not curious about what exactly lurks there. Sure, my tummy is rumbling a little, but I know it’s not hungry. It’s just the idea of cake that’s setting it off. Which reminds me… I’ve been meaning to do some reading about the appestat – the regulation of appetite. If I can work it our I’ll share my findings here.

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