Adjust accordingly

lists

That little sentiment keeps cropping up all over the place lately. The first time I saw it I rolled my eyes and kept scrolling. The second time I sighed and clicked on the next link. The third time I was like “Okay already!”

So here’s me finally taking notice of what I clearly need at the moment. Because I’ve been going through a bit of an unhappy patch. I’m not permanently miserable, but life in general is a little stressful right now, and it’s really, really easy to let it all pile on top of me until all I can do is lie there and go “meep”.

Thankfully, I generally twig (after a day or two) when I’m in this kind of meh patch, and I can let the people who need to know know. Even if I don’t know WHY I feel grotty, I can identify that something’s up. It’s just taken me a while to learn that it’s actually okay to tell people close to me where I’m at. See, I’ve never really had to deal with full-on depression like some of the people close to me have. So when I’m sad, I tend to minimise it, you know, like “It’s not proper depression, so I should seriously just get over the sadness. Other people have it way worse. Stop moping around. Seriously Terri, pull yourself together. You’re being a bit of a baby here.”

Totally unhealthy. We should never, ever measure our own emotional experience against others. Yeah, so it might not be “proper depression” (whatever that is), but it IS a big deal to me at the moment, and it IS holding me back and interfering with life in general. So it demands attention.

That little list quote is a good reminder of what I so often catch myself telling other people. “Look for the happy moments, cling to those – no matter how small.” And I do – usually. For example, on my walk up through town in the morning the odd thing will make me smile and I’ll hold onto that for the moments in the day I just want to hurl something through the window. But perhaps it’s time to take it one step further. Rather than waiting for the incidental happy moments, maybe I should make that list of things that are guaranteed to bring on the Warm Fuzzies and actively include more of them in my day.

With that in mind, I’m off to find an exciting new recipe to try for dinner.

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